Tuesday, 25 November 2008

ahelyett, hogy arrol irnek, amirol szerettem volna eredetileg...
1. a mai nap felfedezese az olaszok egy epszerk trukkje, amitol teljesen lazba jottem a munkaido vegefele:
az olasz kollegam egyertelmunek vette, h igy kell az alapazas alatt a hoszigetelest es a kavicsagyot egyben kivaltani:

nem tudom, h hivjak magyarul, az angolok sem ismertek, de G. igy utotte be az internetbe: igloo fondazione

2. most, h ezt letudtam - es elmondhatom szakmajat szereto ember vagyok, blogban is epszerkrol irok :D, jojjon a szorakozas - egy gasztroblog ajanlo
http://kicsivu.freeblog.hu/

Vegre egy normalis gastroblog, ahol nem olyan hozzavalok vannak, amiket sem penzem, sem energiam sincs felkutatni - messze ut mindent !!!

Erosen erzem a kesztetest es inspiraciot, es G. hangosan rohogott, amikor megemlitettem neki mekkora terveim vannak a studiolakassal kapcsolatban.
Brightonban hideg van, de itt a tenger, es a Taj-ban - kedvenc keleti boltomban - dolgozik egy helyes libanoni srac :D. Hetfo reggel ket emberrel is sikerult osszehaverkodni munka elott: egy kinai osztalyfonokkel, aki 3 honapos kurzuson van a uni of sussex-en, es egy pakisztani villamosmernokkel, aki meg a kozmologia eloadasrol emlekszik ram ! Jokedvu vagyok, tok jo volt egy forro csokit meginni kedvenc olasz kollegammal, persze o inkabb sort ivott ;).
Lehet, h ez megint egy jo het lesz? :D

Sunday, 23 November 2008

a mai zene, a mai film

LOVE, ACTUALLY

az egyik legjobb angol romantikus vigjatek - oszinten !!

JONI MITCHELL 'BOTH SIDES NOW'

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JqQlfFuQFXo

Rows and floes of angel hair
And ice cream castles in the air
And feather canyons evrywhere
Ive looked at clouds that way

But now they only block the sun
They rain and snow on evryone
So many things I would have done
But clouds got in my way
Ive looked at clouds from both sides now
From up and down, and still somehow
Its cloud illusions I recall
I really dont know clouds at all

Moons and junes and ferris wheels
The dizzy dancing way you feel
As evry fairy tale comes real
Ive looked at love that way

But now its just another show
You leave em laughing when you go
And if you care, dont let them know
Dont give yourself away

Ive looked at love from both sides now
From give and take, and still somehow
Its loves illusions I recall
I really dont know love at all

Tears and fears and feeling proud
To say I love you right out loud
Dreams and schemes and circus crowds
Ive looked at life that way

But now old friends are acting strange
They shake their heads, they say Ive changed
Well somethings lost, but somethings gained
In living evry day

Ive looked at life from both sides now
From win and lose and still somehow
Its lifes illusions I recall
I really dont know life at all
Ive looked at life from both sides now
From up and down, and still somehow
Its lifes illusions I recall
I really dont know life at all

Saturday, 22 November 2008

valenciaba erdemes menni







Monday, 17 November 2008

addig olvassatok, amig el nem kapnak engem :)

Indignation of an Israeli Writer: Ari Shavit

Cana: 102 Faceless Dead

We killed 170 people in Lebanon, most of whom were refugees, during the month of April, 1996. Many of them were women, old people and children. We killed 9 civilians, one a 2 year old girl and one, a centenarian, in Sahmour, on April 11th. We killed 11 civilians, including 7 children, in Nabatyeh, on April 18th. In the UN Camp in Cana, we killed 102 people. We made sure to inflict death from a distance. In a very secular manner, without the archaic idea of sin, without the antediluvian worry to consider man in the image of God, and without the primitive proscription, "You shall not kill!"

Our solid alibi is that we are responsible for nothing, that the responsibility falls on Hezbollah. A most doubtful alibi. For when we decided to launch a massive attack on the civilian region of South Lebanon (while Israel ran no vital risk), we decided, ipso facto, to spill the blood of X number of civilians. When we decided to drive half a million people out of their homes and to shell those who remained behind (while in Israel, we did not have one single victim), we decided, in fact, to execute several dozen of them. This (alibi) allowed us to make such cruel decisions without seeing ourselves as rotten.

We killed them because the increasingly wider gap between the sacrosanct character that we attribute to our own lives and the more limited character we give to theirs, allowed us to kill. We believe, in the most absolute manner, with the White House, the Senate, the Pentagon, and the New York Times on our side, that their lives do not have the same weight as ours. We are convinced that with Dimona (Israel's atomic site), Yad Vashem and the Shoah Museum in our hand, we have the right to compel 400,000 people to evacuate their homes in 8 hours. And we have the right, at the end of 8 hours, to consider their homes as military targets. And we reserve the right to rain 16,000 shells on their villages and their populations. And we reserve the right to kill without any guilt feelings.

But all this cannot alleviate the gravity of the massacre, Israeli style, and our responsibility for its execution. For it is perpetrated, in general, in places to which we give free range to immoderate violence.

The shelling of Cana was executed according to the rules, orders and objectives of operation, "Grapes of Wrath." There is something wrong in these rules, orders and objectives. Something that is no longer human. Something that touches on the criminal.

And all of us, without exception, were an integral part of this machine. The public supported the media, who supported the government, who supported the Chief of Staff, who supported the inquiry officer, who supported the officers, who supported the soldiers who fired the three shells that killed 102 in Cana.

Nothing can prevent Cana from becoming an integral part of our biography. Because, after Cana, we did not denounce the crime, we did not want to subject the affair to the eyes of the law, we merely wanted to deny the horror and go on with our current affairs. That is how Cana is part of ourselves -- like one of the features of our face.

As the massacre perpetrated by Baruch Goldstein (in the Cave of the Patriarchs on Muslims while praying) and the crime committed by Ygal Amir (like the reactions to them) were manifestations of rotten seeds in the heart of the national-religious culture, the massacre of Cana is no less extreme a grain of rottenness in the heart of secular Israeli culture: its cynicism, brutality, instrumentalism, egocentrism of the powerful; this tendency to blur the frontier between good and evil, between permitted and prohibited; this tendency not to require justice, not to care about truth.

The manner in which contemporary Israel has functioned during and after Cana shows that modern, rational Israeli life conceals a terrifying aspect.

Ari Shavit/Haaretz/New York Times Syndication. Ari Shavit is a writer and columnist of the Israeli newspaper, Haaretz. He lives in Jerusalem. (Translated from Hebrew in "Liberation" of May 21, 1996.)


hulyet kapok.

ezek a cikkek a www.al-bushra.org oldalrol szarmaznak, ami kozveszelyes informaciot tartalmaz ugy latszik. a helyzet morbiditasanak ertekeleset ratok bizom.

The Independent 4/19/96, page 1

MASSACRE IN SANCTUARY; EYEWITNESS

By Robert Fisk

Qana, southern Lebanon - It was a massacre. Not since Sabra and Chatila had I seen the innocent slaughtered like this. The Lebanese refugee women and children and men lay in heaps, their hands or arms or legs missing, beheaded or disembowelled. There were well over a hundred of them. A baby lay without a head. The Israeli shells had scythed through them as they lay in the United Nations shelter, believing that they were safe under the world's protection. Like the Muslims of Srebrenica, the Muslims of Qana were wrong.

In front of a burning building of the UN's Fijian battalion headquarters, a girl held a corpse in her arms, the body of a grey- haired man whose eyes were staring at her, and she rocked the corpse back and forth in her arms, keening and weeping and crying the same words over and over: "My father, my father." A Fijian UN soldier stood amid a sea of bodies and, without saying a word, held aloft the body of a headless child.

"The Israelis have just told us they'll stop shelling the area," a UN soldier said, shaking with anger. "Are we supposed to thank them?" In the remains of a burning building - the conference room of the Fijian UN headquarters - a pile of corpses was burning. The roof had crashed in flames onto their bodies, cremating them in front of my eyes. When I walked towards them, I slipped on a human hand...

Israel's slaughter of civilians in this terrible 10-day offensive - 206 by last night - has been so cavalier, so ferocious, that not a Lebanese will forgive this massacre. There had been the ambulance attacked on Saturday, the sisters killed in Yohmor the day before, the 2-year-old girl decapitated by an Israeli missile four days ago. And earlier yesterday, the Israelis had slaughtered a family of 12 - the youngest was a four- day-old baby - when Israeli helicopter pilots fired missiles into their home.

Shortly afterwards, three Israeli jets dropped bombs only 250 metres from a UN convoy on which I was travelling, blasting a house 30 feet into the air in front of my eyes. Travelling back to Beirut to file my report on the Qana massacre to the Independent last night, I found two Israeli gunboats firing at the civilian cars on the river bridge north of Sidon.

Every foreign army comes to grief in Lebanon. The Sabra and Chatila massacre of Palestinians by Israel's militia allies in 1982 doomed Israel's 1982 invasion. Now the Israelis are stained again by the bloodbath at Qana, the scruffy little Lebanese hill town where the Lebanese believe Jesus turned water into wine.

The Israeli Prime Minister Shimon Peres may now wish to end this war. But the Hizbollah are not likely to let him. Israel is back in the Lebanese quagmire. Nor will the Arab world forget yesterdays terrible scenes.

The blood of all the refugees ran quite literally in streams from the shell-smashed UN compound restaurant in which the Shiite Muslims from the hill villages of southern Lebanon - who had heeded Israel's order to leave their homes - had pathetically sought shelter. Fijian and French soldiers heaved another group of dead - they lay with their arms tightly wrapped around each other - into blankets.

A French UN trooper muttered oaths to himself as he opened a bag in which he was dropping feet, fingers, pieces of people's arms.

And as we walked through this obscenity, a swarm of people burst into the compound. They had driven in wild convoys down from Tyre and began to pull the blankets off the mutilated corpses of their mothers and sons and daughters and to shriek "Allahu Akbar" (God is Great") and to threaten the UN troops.

We had suddenly become not UN troops and journalists but Westerners, Israel's allies, an object of hatred and venom. One bearded man with fierce eyes stared at us, his face dark with fury. "You are Americans," he screamed at us. "Americans are dogs. You did this. Americans are dogs."

President Bill Clinton has allied himself with Israel in its war against "terrorism" and the Lebanese, in their grief, had not forgotten this. Israel's official expression of sorrow was rubbing salt in their wounds. "I would like to be made into a bomb and blow myself up amid the Israelis," one old man said.

As for the Hizbollah, which has repeatedly promised that Israelis will pay for their killing of Lebanese civilians, its revenge cannot be long in coming. Operation Grapes of Wrath may then turn out then to be all too aptly named.

zene fuleinknek

elvegre ez egy kulturalis blog

http://www.union.ic.ac.uk/osc/lebanese/Music.htm
http://www.crisoldemusicas.com/
http://www.iranian.com/main/music/classics

Pablo Neruda



befejezes

machuca



Machuca (2004) is a Chilean film written and directed by Andrés Wood. Set in 1973 in Santiago during Salvador Allende's socialist government and shortly before General Augusto Pinochet's military coup, the film tells the story of two friends, one of them the very poor Pedro Machuca who is integrated into the elite school of his friend Gonzalo Infante. The social integration project is headed by the director of the school Father McEnroe.
Ezt meg regebben neztem, de erre meg lehet eselyetek.


Salvador Allende

west - beirut



West Beirut (Arabic: Beyrout Al Gharbiyya — بيروت الغربية) is a 1998 Lebanese drama film written and directed by Ziad Doueiri.

In April, 1975, civil war breaks out; Beirut is partitioned along a Muslim-Christian line and is divided into East and West Beirut. Tarek is in high school, making Super 8 movies with his friend, Omar. At first the war is a lark: school has closed, the violence is fascinating, getting from West to East is a game. His mother wants to leave; his father refuses. Tarek spends time with May, a Christian, orphaned and living in his building. By accident, Tarek goes to an infamous brothel in the war-torn Olive Quarter, meeting its legendary madam, Oum Walid. He then takes Omar and May there. Family tensions rise. As he comes of age, the war moves inexorably from adventure to tragedy.


Ezt a filmet neztem a multkor az interneten. Tok jo volt, de ti ne is almodjatok rola, h Magyarorszagon megtalaljatok :D.

palestine






Palestine is a graphic novel written and drawn by Joe Sacco about his experiences in the West Bank and the Gaza Strip in December 1991 and January 1992. Sacco gives a portrayal which emphasizes the history and plight of the Palestinian people, as a group and as individuals.

A Palestine, egy kepregeny - konyv, amit folyamatosan olvasok a konytvarban es a konyvesboltban. Ha elolvastam se varjatok folytatast :D.

forget about baghdad


A film reflecting upon the clichés of „the Jew” and „the Arab” in the last hundred years of cinema, combined with the biographies of some extraordinary individuals: Iraqi-Jewish communists. „Son of the Sheikh” – „Jud Süss” – „Exodus” – „True Lies”. Silent film star Valentino as the noble Bedouin. The image of the „greedy Jew” serving the Nazi cause. Paul Newman as the blue-eyed Jewish freedom fighter in Palestine. The darkskinned, hook-nosed, hysterically shrieking Arab terrorist who gets annihilated by Schwarzenegger… A muddled composite of cineastic memories!
Jewish Arabs? Arab Jews? Sephardim? Mizrahim? – Over the past few years, there has been a lively debate in Israel, mainly among intellectual „Mizrahim” (Middle Eastern Jews). Their criticism is directed at the politics of alienation and instrumentalization of Arab Jews, stemming from the colonial pretensions asserted by Israel’s European-influenced founding generation. Over the years, Samir – himself the child of Iraqi immigrants in Switzerland – has focused on the issues of alienation and the formation of identity in his films. In the context of this discussion, Prof. Ella Shohat (sociologist and film historian at the City University of New York) is one of the most important figures in the film. Raised in Israel as the daughter of Iraqi Jews, she reflects on her history. The film „Forget Baghdad” also focuses on the life stories of four other exceptional individuals: Shimon Ballas, Professor of Arabic in Tel Aviv, is involved in the pro-Palestinian peace and civil rights movement. Sami Michael, one of Israel’s most famous best-selling authors, who broke with the communists back in the mid- 1950s. Moshe (Moussa) Houri, a wealthy kiosk owner and building contractor in a Tel Aviv suburb who to this day continues to vote for communists. Samir Naqqash, the only one of the four who still writes in Arabic. His works of literature have brought him critical acclaim and quite a number of prizes but publishers these days are no longer interested in bringing out his books – neither those in the Arab world
nor those in Israel…
The four old protagonists were influenced back in their youth by the internationalism of the Iraqi communist party. Yet in the early 1950s, their religious background as Arab Jews put them at odds with the rising Arab nationalism which, paradoxically, they had been supporting with their political work as communists. Fleeing to Israel was like going from the frying pan into the fire, where as communists they were treated like outsiders and viewed with suspicion. Though they felt part of the Arab world, they had no choice but to assimilate and adopt a new culture. Their identity as „Mizrahim” and their political orientation made them frequent targets of chauvinistic ignorance. Their lives thus provide exemplary reflections of this century’s history and how the „new world disorder” came to take hold.
As in his earlier documentary „Babylon 2” (1993), Samir interweaves the various levels to create an artistic and entertaining montage film.

Sunday, 9 November 2008


http://ilovetypography.com/2008/07/10/arabic-calligraphy-as-a-typographic-exercise/

Wednesday, 5 November 2008

lewes bonfire night







GUY FAWKES DAY
kar, h leleptunk koran, csak a paradet lattuk, pedig szivesen megneztem volna ahogy felgyujtjak Guy Fawkes-t. Vannak pillanatok, amikor raerzel Angliara, es ez olyan volt ma este. Lewes este, szemerkelo esoben, tuzijatek, oriasi petardak, Tudor korabeli kosztumok, kalozok, negerek, indianok, hoherok, hindu istenek, mindenfele mocsari szorny, boszorkanyok, II.vhaborus angolok, viktorianus angolok, mindenfele milliő, rezfuvosok, dobosok, cheeky boys with fire crackers, es amit ettunk chipsbutt (krumpli szendvics - ilyen is csak itt letezhet), mindenki faklyakkal (torch) es a menetek vegen tuzes kocsik. Dol a fust, es a sor mindenhonnan, kis hazak menten, az osi Lewes utcain. Szeretem az angol nyelvet, nem az amerikait hanem az igazi karakteres deli angol akcentust.
Es szeretem az angolok kis jelvenyet is, a kis piros almat, amivel nov. 14-en emlekeznek meg a II.vh aldozatairol.
Anglia eszmeletlenul kulonleges orszag szerintem!

a kepek nem az enyemek, de magukert beszelnek

Tuesday, 4 November 2008

ajanlo

ket link a tudashoz es a valosaghoz - mert kozombossegbe bujni szemetseg

SANCTIONS, WAR CRIME AND GENOCIDE
http://www.aliraqi.org/forums/showthread.php?t=59548

es itt egy helyi aktivista csapat lapja, akik egy brightoni fegyvergyar ellen tuntettek
mert van fegyvergyar, meg ha a kollegaim -akik evek ota itt elnek - nem is hallottak rola, en viszont igen!! vajon hogy lehet ez??
http://www.smashedo.org.uk/news.htm

ajanlo


Ghada Amer

BANIPAL
magazin of modern arab literature
http://www.banipal.co.uk/current_issues/

a mai nap feljegyzese :D
Egyebkent ma egyetemen jartam!!! Meglepo modon hianyzott! Eletem elso, de nem utolso angliai eloadasa: Professor Peter Thomas, University of Sussex
a vilagegyetem tagulasarol, es szamitogepes modellezeserol, meg ilyenek
meglepoen jo volt, es visszahozta a regmult anketek hangulatat.
Holnap Guy Fawkes Day, es ha minden igaz melo utan a fiatal kollegak csapata kivonul Lewesbe megnezni a tuzrakasokat (bonfire), es pogany (pagan) modon unnepel. Kar, h nem mukodik a kameram!

Monday, 3 November 2008

zazie a metron - az igazi!

Randa Chahal: ‘Always This Running Away...’

Filmmaker’s Complex Identities Spawn Thematic Dualities

By Brigitte Caland

Randa is a friend. A real friend, someone who you are certain will be with you when you need her, someone who will surprise you by her attentions, her consistency, and her own way of making sure people she cares for are fine. But Randa’s priority is being a mother for the three wonderful children who surround her. Her daughter, Nour, studies art and lives in the same building; her eldest son, Pierre, studies in London; and her youngest, Ulysse, remains with her, at home, attending a middle school nearby. Around her, various friends form a tribe that looks beyond nationalities, languages, and cultural backgrounds. Her house and garden are open to visitors who stop by, often with no notice, joining her for tea, lemonade, pastries, or a casual meal.

Randa’s credits as a filmmaker include “Lebanon of Another Time” (1981), “Sheikh Imam” (1985), “Screen of Sand” (1992), “Our Imprudent Wars” (1995), “The Infidels” (1996), “Civilized” (1998), “Souha, Surviving Hell” (2001), and “The Kite” (2002).

On a cold Parisian afternoon, the final weekend before starting the production of her film – she will start shooting the first months of 2006 – she sits in an armchair in my office and sips hot jasmine tea. She shares freely: “My reasons for filming are rooted in Tripoli, the town in Lebanon where I was born and grew up. I was stuck between two activities: going to the movies, or going to the beach. It was a traditional and rather sad city, and I was an unusual young girl who was lucky to have exceptional parents – open, literate, and conscious of the world around them. We used to discuss global issues, human rights, and the well being of others. They guided the three of us, me and my siblings, towards reading and making thoughtful choices. They helped me so much. I was privileged to grow up in a Sunni environment with extremely supportive parents who used to encourage me, saying: ‘Go ahead, you can make it, nothing can happen to you, surprise us.’

“I felt so confident. One day, while traveling on a plane, a wing caught fire and people on board were consumed with panic. Except for me. I just thought to myself, ‘My parents will not let anything happen.’ In time, as they aged and the situation was reversed and I took care of them, all my childhood fears resurfaced. I took on the role of a parent, and I no longer felt protected. I was present at their surgeries and the three of us – my sister, my brother, and I – now mothered them.”

Randa continued: “When I was 13 or 14 years old, I saw ‘Blow Up’ and it was a revelation. When we left the screening I told my father ‘I want to do the same.’ At that time he did not discourage me, but later, after I finished high school and left for France, he suggested that I aim for a job that would allow me to be financially independent. I pursued medical studies for one year, after which he recognized that this was absolutely not for me.”

With a tender smile, Randa mentions the relationship between her parents: “My father used to say that he married my mother because the Communist Party asked him to, to get her out of jail. She had been imprisoned several times, because, although quite young, she was the chief editor of the Iraqi party newspaper. So, I suspect he must have gotten her pregnant three times in a ‘comradely’ way. He was Sunni. He used to love life, beautiful objects, and beauty in general. She was somber, like most Iraqi people… I feel sorry for the Americans who did not check where they were putting their feet!

“My mother left Iraq and never was able to go back. She mourned Iraq from a distance. She did not travel because she did not enjoy traveling. She suffered when I left Lebanon, but she did not stop me from leaving. She felt making films was not a serious job and would have loved for me to write, as I once did for As Safir newspaper. I wrote in Arabic; they liked my style, but used to correct my grammar. Dad loved going to the movies. We used to have intense discussions about the scripts and the technical approach a director would take. I knew I would become a filmmaker in Paris.”

Randa’s pessimistic view of the film industry today is imbued with a nostalgic eye towards earlier times, when Hollywood and the proliferation of visual imagery was not subordinated to market demands.

“Today, the filmmaking industry has changed quite a bit. Images are common now, and we have an over-abundance of footage. Everyone has a camera, whether digital or video. Before, creating images was a difficult task. I remember how excited I was the first time I put my eye to a lens. Now there is such a demand for images… I feel manipulated by the situation, by imposed choices, by the images that continuously spill forth, by the marketing, by the need for commercial success. Most of the time, one must produce at such a rate that there is not enough time to think about the work being done. I don’t feel free. But I do think that all this is going to settle. There is such a gap between the movie I produced and shot 17 years ago and the one I am producing today. If you don’t play the game, there is no place for you. Everything needs to be basic. Hollywood has decided to make movies for the lowest common denominator. Those in charge of the industry believe that no one understands nuance, so everything is overly emphasized. Films are made for the masses.”

Randa adds, “I went recently to see ‘Chicken Little’ and found that it, too, had been made for the simple-minded. You quickly understand that the character has a problem with his father, but they say it so many times that my son looked at me and asked sarcastically, ‘Mom, did you understand that he has a problem with his father?’ ‘Fantasia’ is so far away. During the past 40 years, the industry has regressed a lot. All movies seem the same; all the scripts are simplified.”

Reflecting on the complexities of an identity informed by both Arab and European cultures, Randa imparts a critical perspective on filmmaking in France: “To get into the European mainstream, you need to swim in the mainstream. It is narcissistic and fundamentally concerned by its own history; there is no place for anything else. If you are not born French, you must talk about the suburbs, even when you live in a residential and elegant district in Paris! The newspapers have praised Abdel Latif Keshish so much, and in such a colonialist way, that I wonder what he will be able to do now, because he is not part of this mainstream.

“I am Middle Eastern, but I don’t want to be the Arab that makes movies for the Arab. It is a difficult process, because, unlike writing, the film industry requires a great amount of money before a movie can come to fruition. It took me two years to get away from the language of my family – Arabic – and to speak to the neighbors in their language – French. In French, for instance, you ‘work on the loss of someone,’ meaning, you try to overcome and forget. In Arabic, you remember. In Arabic, often one word is enough to explain a feeling, a situation, while in French most of the time you need a group of words: to burst into laughter, to let go of, to take the neighbor’s tongue.”

A thematic duality – between her mother and father, France and Lebanon, herself and her husband – persists as Randa contemplates the future. “I am not complaining; I am happy with what I have accomplished. But today I question the place I have here. And I think I don’t have a place in Lebanon. I think about my mother who lived as an exile. When she died, I had the feeling she died as a political, sentimental, and unreconciled exile, since her last will was to be buried in Iraq. We have not been able to fulfill her wish yet, and this is another form of exile. But Lebanon is not an option. I say it with no complaints – it is just a thought. I think about what would have happened had I stayed there. After living here for 30 years, I feel more and more distant from France and find I am getting closer to something more genuine and authentic. I don’t see myself getting old in France. I am comfortable neither in the position of intellectual jetsetter, nor in the position of Middle Eastern intellectual. I think it comes from my background. I am born from a mixed marriage. Both my parents were communists. We used to drink from crystal glasses brought from Bohemia, us the children, with the peasants rather than with the elegant guests. There was constantly this duality, this battle. The same happened with my marriage. I married someone out of my environment who had concerns other than mine. Today I am single and divorced and have developed cancer, which, hopefully, I have overcome.”

During her bout with cancer, Randa said she always had nightmares. “Like this friend of mine who lost three of her six children in terrible accidents. She used to have nightmares, every single night, and when finally she was able to name her fear, her nightmare, she lost her brother. My nightmares stopped when they removed my left breast. I was told that the left breast is connected to the image of the Man. I used to have terrible nightmares and used to tell them to my parents, to my lovers, and to my children. Today it is over, most probably because I dealt with this duality. I am finding my place.”

With her unique accent and great sense of humor, Randa considers where she wants to settle and grow. “But there is another issue about this duality I need to solve: the place where I wish to live and grow old. I do think that we have a choice. You and I have a choice. And this is what makes things harder. Nothing forces me to accept the system, the cold winters. My accent always makes me feel foreign. When I enter a store, or anywhere, when I talk I can see people’s eyes perpetually asking ‘where is she from?,’ but I have the same feeling in the Keserouan, or in Fakra. It took time to build my complicity and intimacy with my French friends. My godchild remains amazed by my accent, and I often tell him, ‘You will remember it later and you will love it,’ and the young people I work with laugh about it.

“Do I feel concerned by French politics? I have voted here ever since I obtained French citizenship. My daughter is more concerned: she is Parisian; I am not. I still am very much a Mediterranean. You sense it in my movies. There is always this ‘running away.’ I wonder to myself if it is linked to an incident that happened one day, when my ex-husband dropped me at the border of the no-man’s land in Beirut, which was cut in two during the war. I had to run in order to escape the sniper’s shooting. When I arrived on the other side, I was safe, but I ran on. A young boy started running alongside me, and while licking his ice cream he asked, ‘Why are you still running?’ But I think that the cause is deeper than this.”

Randa suddenly looked at her watch. It was time to rush off. Her son was waiting for her. She still had to find dessert for his dinner, and in her hurry, she almost left part of her meal in my refrigerator. As she rushed down the stairs, she came back to retrieve the food she was going to share with her daughter that same evening. We had spent another wonderful moment together. And although she usually despises talking about herself and giving interviews, she had generously opened up and spoken about subjects that are so clearly important to her today.

This interview appeared in Al Jadid, Vol. 11, no. 52 (Summer 2005)

Copyright (c) 2005 by Al Jadid